Dear Terry Ryan-

I see that you’re contemplating the merits of trading Denard Span to the Cincinnati Reds.

Before you do anything else on the trade market, I’d like to reiterate that Span is one of the few legitimately movable, legitimately valuable trade pieces we have on this team right now. He’s also young enough that he could be a part of the next good Twins team.

With that in mind, if/when you decide to move him…DO NOT F*CK IT UP!!

Sincerely,
Every Twins Fan

PS: Can we get re-dos on all of the Bill Smith era trades?

PPS: Do not under any circumstance get gamed by another GM if/when you move Willingham or the fans will rise up and burn Target Field to the ground.

PPPS: All will be forgiven if you work a trade to bring Lew Ford back to Minnesota.